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(Translated from the original Marathi by Jayashree Hari Joshi)
It is difficult to grasp the exact moment of creation. The Sir JJ School of Arts, the organisations- Aradhana and Parichay, Jabbar Patel Unit- these were my Universities. I saw myself being moulded in them and they too witnessed my development. I never contemplated with a serious face; nor did I spend hours in the library. My talent and insight actually blossomed on the JJ lawns, on the Garware porch, at Ravindra's katta, on the steps and in the rooms where we met. The late night discussions at Dadar, Ranade Road, between Kanchan, Hemant, Mahendra, Ashok and T Surendra used to start with a clear question ''What is Cinema?'' and then diversify and branch out vertically and horizontally. These discussions would take place sometimes sitting down, and sometimes while standing all through! All of this has percolated through me. There is a collection by Vijay Tendulkar - Haa Sagale Yete Kuthun? (Where does all this emerge from?) I know where its roots are - it came from here, there, everywhere.
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| Images and words come to all of us in a particular sequence. I was no exception! I was good at drawing since childhood - I drew pictures that would resemble Rajesh Khanna. I was quite adept at drawing wonderful scenery and other things. Incidentally, my elder brother Mohan had a very good hand at drawing. His Rangoli designs were so perfect; they almost looked like a printed leaf on the floor. He used to write well too. But he did not hone any of these skills. Despite the pressure of parental wishes, he did not pursue a medical career either. He did his B.Sc., DMLT, secured a Government job and retired in due course of time.
I grew up in Parel Bhoiwada, the famous area of Girangaon. These were the residential colonies of the Bahujan workmen and workers of the labour class - in today's established term - the dominion of the Dalits. A sizeable number of children from that area were good at writing, acting and sports. Only a small percentage of them may have been successful, yet the majority of them had to dispense with their dreams given the struggle for day to day existence. Areas such as Nare Park, Kamgar Maidan, Bhoiwada Maidan never enjoyed the glamorous status of Shivaji Park. Plus the simple coaches hailing from the lesser districts never received the recognition like Ramakant Aachrekar did; otherwise Girangaon could have easily generated at least fifty Gavaskars, Tendulkars and Solkars. While looking back, you cannot easily overlook this huge canvas.
In my eighth standard itself I was determined to join the JJ School of Arts, as I was good at drawing. I did not want to repeat the mistake my elder brother had made - I had fixed my objective in life. In school, I referred to his writing and wrote an essay. It was read out in the class. My elder brother used to act in the plays in the chawl gathering, I imbibed it. Even my beautiful handwriting was inspired by him. It was not a planned strategy. I just assimilated it while living in the same house. Yet I had a special trait - I was accustomed to observe and to contemplate about things. ''Thinking'' was not an intellectual exercise; it was more like a confrontation with questions. I lived in a labour class colony and it was very common for a husband to beat up his wife and children. I used to ask myself: How is (only) a man entitled to this barbaric act, just because he has become a husband/father?
I was neither intelligent nor clever in my years at school, so I was almost a non-entity then. I was not a bright student to be noticed, except for the occasional praise during the drawing classes. I was never selected even as a fall-back option for elocution competitions, theatre or dance. But I used to critique (in my mind) all those performances! I used to feel that I would have done it better, but it was just that - a feeling. I never articulated it. In my school days I had a modest introduction - a boy who could draw good pictures, who could write quite well and who had a pretty good handwriting.
After joining the Sir JJ School of Applied Arts, I embarked on creative writing and acting with no holds barred, because there was no ''previous reputation'' that followed me here. In the first year itself I acted in a one-act play. Purushottam Berde, Nalesh Patil, Raghuvir Kul were in the final year then. Our play tour was also conceived at JJ. My passion for theatre grew during the evening classes of valued professors like Shantaram Pawar, Damoo Kenkre and Ramakant Deshpande. The set designer Pradeep Mulye was my classmate. He had also played a role in CHAWL COMMITTEE - a play written by me.
The alumni of JJ boasts of esteemed names like Amol Palekar, Nana Patekar, Satish Pulekar. The writers of 'Mauj' and 'Satyakatha' used to frequent the campus of the JJ School of Arts. Stalwarts like Sambhaji Kadam, Baburao Sadvelkar, Adarkar, Hanmante used to be visit the campus. That's why I often say, that I learnt a lot more outside the classrooms of JJ - on the JJ lawns, in the cabin of Shantaram Pawar - and of course in the canteen!
During my school days, I was religious, and it was very ritualistic! Phule and Ambedkar were part of the house, but Ganapati was not an embargo. It was my hobby to build small temples. A Gujarati couple used to reside in our neighbourhood. The head of that family used to tell my father, that I would become a religious Guru when I grew up! When the Bhikhoos from Parel Buddh Vihar used to visit us, they used to request my father - ''Donate this boy to us, out of your four sons!'' My father used to feel ''good''. Moreover, I was born immediately after my father lost his mother. So somebody had told my father that she was reborn in me. One clear advantage was that my father used to beat me less, as compared to the beatings my brothers had to face.
My inspiration to achieve 'something' in life came from funeral processions! The area where I lived had hospitals - Government-run and municipal hospitals such as KEM, Tata, Wadia and the TB Hospital in Girangaon. The Shivadi crematorium was also located farther down the road. A common road led to the school and the crematorium. Some processions used to be huge, some very small, consisting of only four persons carrying the stretcher and the chief mourner in the front, carrying the earthen pot. I used to feel - I don't want to die like this as a non-entity. No, I have to do something, achieve something, reach somewhere.
The first ever biggest funeral that I can recall was of Acharya Atre's. It was pouring. I was holding my father's hand in the heavy rain, when I saw that funeral. It went on for a long time. I thought to myself - if I am born on this earth, I have to reach at least this level.
Of course, at JJ my personality became multi-faceted. My fellow students used to encourage me to write. Prof Ranjan Joshi taught me how to focus in life. Prof Arun Kale introduced me to a different kind of literature- Dalit literature and shared some magazines that were sporadically published. Prof Mukund Gokhale taught us calligraphy. He narrated how he ran away from home at an early age - this sowed the seeds of a rebellion against the establishment.
Shantaram Pawar taught me a lot, without really teaching me anything. My teacher Khambekar made me aware of my forte in strokes and copywriting. The rock-solid foundation of my personality was laid by all these people. Initially Purushottam Berde and Raghuvir Kul were my icons for playwriting. The technique of playwriting was taught by these two stalwarts and the organisation 'Ya Mandali Sadar Karuya'. My artistic journey was based on the principle art for art's sake. My friends Dilip Warang and Vishwa Yadav inculcated in me a social and a political sensitivity.
Vishwa, for the first time in my life, made me aware of my lower caste- that I was a Dalit. My parents always kept us away from the caste consciousness. The ambience at home and our way of life was neither too Buddhist, nor Hindu. But we were definitely miles away from those exclusions from society, those caste-based kith and kin. Vishwa introduced me to the process of the former untouchables' conversion to Buddhism, the Ambedkarite philosophy, as well as the ideology of the Dalit Panthers. Milind Pagare was my classmate. His father had a huge collection of Marathi and English books written by Dr Ambedkar. He used to encourage us to read. Later, my father began narrating his childhood memories - how he was made to sit outside the classroom. My mother used to reminisce about how their water jugs were segregated. My life started changing at this point. I started reading Surve, Dhasal, Daya Pawar, Chendvankar. Pradeep Mulye introduced me to Nemade, Kolatkar, Chitre, Gopu Deshpande, Satyakatha.
But the real profound awareness was created by Dilip Warang. We were studying in a government college, so our assignments consisted of creating ads for publicity of the 20-point programme during the Emergency. There was a poetry competition around that time. I took part and I got the first prize. That evening Dilip told me softly but firmly -''You should not have participated in this. Assignment is part of study, writing a poem is not.'' Then he talked about the imposition of Emergency. I did not understand much then, but realised that he was telling me something important and different. These discussions imparting knowledge, through advice and preaching of my insightful friends have gradually percolated through my personality.
People ask me today: ''You must be an avid reader?'' Then I think of these people who taught me to 'read', outside of books! A couple of years after college I shifted to Pune. Along with my friends Arun Narvekar and Satish Kamat, I started an ad agency called Amachipandharavikala (Our fifteenth art). Within no time we became famous due to our illustrations and advertisements. During Granthali Yatra I happened to meet Nitin Thakur from the field of journalism and my life took a turn. Nitin took me to Aradhana theatre group in Pune. I got acquainted with Anand Masoor, Nachiket Pawar, Kedar Joshi, Pramod Deshpande. All this while I was creating posters for various social organisations, attending their gatherings and functions, and writing about them. I had started writing short articles and columns in weeklies such as Manus and Manohar. I was getting recognition as an artist-author. While making drawings for newspapers and magazines I came in contact with renowned journalists and editors such as Shree Ga Mungekar, Sada Dumbre, Arun Khore, Shree Bha Mahabal, Vidya Baal, Ha Mo Marathe, Chandrakan Ghorpade, Eknath Bagul, to name a few. There was a constant exchange of thoughts.
The discursive discussions with Mungekar, Shree Ga Ma, Vidya Baal, Sada Dumbre helped me get a clear vision later and deepened some convictions. Around this time I also met and spent time with principled and virtuous persons like Baba Adhav, Anil Avachat, Na Ga Gore, S M, Nilu Phule, Bhai Vaidya, Bhalchandra Phadke, Ram Takwale, and GaPra Pradhan. When I think about GaPra Pradhan and S M, I feel overwhelmed that such people existed. All these people have contributed to my intellectual growth. I could spend time with Gm. Baa. Sardaar thanks to Ajit and Vasudha Sardar.
Anna (Gmbaa) told me that I should continue with my direct, aggressive and scathing style of writing. He said. ''You will be told to tone it down, to withhold your rage, to write in a moderate tone, but you must maintain your forceful style. This society is dull and inactive. It will remain unaffected even with hundred writers of your ilk. You continue the way you write. I like Namdev Dhasal precisely for this reason!'' Slowly I dropped my apprehensions. I found my language of expression. I started understanding the significance of enlightenment over entertainment. While making drawings I started gaining insight into the lives of women and nomads. The social organisations and NGOs in Pune encouraged me to think - and think in a particular direction. Under the aegis of Nari Samata Manch I prepared a poster exhibition titled Mi Manjushree and could thus spread awareness all over Maharashtra. Vilas Vagh, Pradeep Gokhale, Tej Nivalikar, Pandit Vidyasagar and Usha Vagh commissioned an exhibition and a brochure on inter-caste marriages. All these endeavours were getting assimilated like a database in my mind. I was trying to compile and present it. I had started to gather information, activate the thought process, and find a direction. When the direction was found, it became clear to me what I should do and what I shouldn't.
At Aradhana I wrote my first two-act play. Its title was DOAN ANKEE NATAK. It was a dialogue-play. Except for Sureshchandra Padhye of Sakal nobody actually took cognisance of it. It shut after a few performances. But I had discovered theatre for life. I met Subodh Pande and later Abhay Godse and Upendra Limaye at Aradhana, and a series of one-act plays started. It used to be so simple - Read about a competition, write a one-act play, win a prize - this became a routine for two to three years. Then I wrote KOAN MHANATE TAKKA DILA together with Subodh, Upendra and Abhay. Our organisation Parichay wanted to participate in the state-level play competition with this two-act play. It was around 1989-1990. Mandal Commission and the Ram Temple were the two burning issues in the country then. A party like BJP was taking two different stands on the Mandal commission in Maharashtra and in Delhi. Same age-old arguments were being tabled with regard to the issue of reservation.
I was plagued by caste- the disguised practice of caste abuse. I started thinking along the lines of Jaata Naahi Jaat (The caste that does not vanish). Then I had an insight - an ordinance to place a Dalit in each upper caste family. I started fixing pairs such as Sur/Asur (God/Demons), Brahmins/Dalits and during this effort I found my characters- Kach, Devayani, Shukracharya. I wrote at a breakneck speed. But while directing the play, Subodh made me completely rewrite the second act. We four had a tremendous understanding between us.
The age gap often proved to be insignificant and we used to exchange thoughts by directing the choicest abuses at each other. Both Aradhana and Parichay have contributed a lot to my development as a playwright. A similar support was extended to me in the field of cinema by Jabbar Patel, Kanchan Naik, Hemant Deodhar, T Surendra, Mahendra Teredesai and Ashok Rane. Jabbar Patel encouraged me to express myself beyond cinema with more grit and clarity and pointed out a few important things.
My most contemporary teacher is Nikhil Wagle. I used to make illustrations and drawings for his Akshar, and then I started to write for Mahanagar. Wagle and Mahanagar gave me ample freedom to crack my whip the way I wanted. Shiv Sena was at its peak, and apart from both of us, nobody had the guts to address Bal Thackeray! Nikhil and the small daily called Mahanagar created an intrepid generation of writers and journalists, in the face of giant newspaper groups. Women felt confident to enter the field of journalism. Mahanagar gave freedom and support for uninhibited portrayal of thoughts, which were even beyond the medium of cinema and theatre.
This journey proved useful for me and it helped me develop insight into various characters for my plays and films - be it Kacharya Dhiwar from the play KOAN MHANATE TAKKA DILA, Kumari from GAAYICHYA SHAAPANE or Madhav from the film 'Dombivali Fast', or Milind from 'Mukta', or even Bhosale from 'Mee Shivajiraje Bhosale Bolatoy'. Even in my most recent play THASHTA, the themes, the narrative style and behavioural patterns of the characters have been painstakingly collected from the multiple sources mentioned earlier.
In fact, it is really difficult to precisely identify the exact moment when any creative process reaches its fruition. During the love-making process there is ejaculation at the peak of a particular moment - nobody can ever predict and summarise in a sentence how a specific sperm fuses with the egg and reproduces a new life. Both processes are similar. We only realise - this belongs to me, it was in me, dormant within me. The atmosphere and surroundings worked in my favour and creation took place!
*Sanjay Pawar is a versatile creative artist with impressive credentials in the world of radical social movements as well as in diverse fields such as graphic designing, advertising, films and theatre. His work in all these creative pursuits has been well recognized and honored with prestigious awards at the State and National levels. He has contributed substantially to the development of the tradition and form of political theatre, also called 'discussion plays' in Marathi. All his plays have been published in Marathi and some have been translated into English. A prolific writer by nature, Sanjay Pawar has also written extensively for newspapers and periodicals as a cloumnist. He won the National Film award for the Screenplay of the film 'Mee Sindhutai Sapkal' along with director Anant Mahadevan.
This article was first published in the Chaturang supplement of the Marathi newspaper Loksatta on August 31, 2013 - http://www.loksatta.com/chaturang-news/sanjay-pawar-in-chaturang-maifal-185293/. It has been reproduced here with minor changes as befits the English translation. For instance, the first paragraph here actually appears midway in the original article. Chaturang culled it from the article to use it as an introductory piece and we decided to start the article with it. The names of people referred to appear as they are in the original article. The familiarity that a Marathi reader would associate with these names has been kept intact.
The English translation is by Jayashree Hari Joshi. Jayashree works with the Goethe Institut/Max Mueller Bhavan Mumbai as Officer - Cultural Programmes. Her MPhil thesis is a comparative study of Rasvighna / Natyashastra and the Experimental Theatre of Bertolt Brecht.
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